You are always.....In Our Memory....

i still remember when i was 13 to 15 years, with the look of me are nerdy....ugly....and no guys will approach me as HIS boyfriend.....yeahhh,who doesnt admit will jealous lookin to our fren dating in the school...that tym i really lack of confident (coz i noe im ugly), and only dreaming having bf.....lucky my brother, change me....(not really like cinderella story suddenly change all of me)...my Brother change me by stepping...wat i mean is from using spectacles to lenses...when me ages of 16 years, i started using contact lense...wat can i say is my brother really interested wit beauty....he change me a lot, he teach me how to shape my eyebrow..and i told u it is really..wat we call magic...i look very different...and from there i learn to communicate with people surrounding me.....and i still remember he ask me to join beauty pegeant, we called at Sabah..Unduk Ngadau...not joining big event beauty pegeant arrr..only kampung2 1, it is really funny coz i really dunno how to walk...how to talk and how to attract audience....but i wat i can told u....i never look at the audience...i just look at the floor when is my turn to cat walk..ya lar..1st tym, im scared ma....and my brother mara me, coz not doin good perfomance...betul2 malu lar me at dat tym....10 of participant, i got no.8..hahhahahaaahhahahhaaha :))...not bad lar..1st tym ma..at least i have present to take...hehheheh....slowly...my brother learn how to make up...doin hair..all dat..without attend any courses, because most of his fren are make up artist, so he can learn from there, i still remember last year 2007, i join one of this Raz Ma Tazz, miss petite, my brother really2 work hard for me for this event, he doin all the hair, make up..i really luv it coz i really luk different, damn very tired for this event, because this event have 3 heats, i remember when im in the 1 st heat, i almost didnt manage to 2nd heat, lucky im wearing Mr. Martin Buguk(really proud to said his name because he really help my brother a lot) evening dress, dat dress make me to 2nd heat. in the 2nd heat, i really did my best perfomance to the audience because back at that stages, my brother really lecture me a lot, he ask me to walk and smile to the audience, dun 4get..i always remember he saying dat word......and i manage to the final heat(3rd heat).....i really2 can see my brother wasting a lot of money to buy me color contact lens, a pair of skinny jeans(dat year 2007, people really wasted money for this type of jeans), high heels, BIKINI(yeah i noe, im lucky)....and buy new make up(sheseido brand arr)...for this final heat.....arr and also false long hair.....i think almost RM1,000 he spent for this event....gosh.....dat nyte i really i felt that im da most beauty,(ya lar, all new maa...new bikini, new shoes, new lens and new hair--false hair ma---), dats y i think im da most beauty, before doin my catwalk, like always my bro will lecture me, and he hope doin the best...so dat nyte i really do my best ever catwalk....liplap...liplap...liplap...liplap...liplap...liplap...liplap...liplap...and the result is out.....yeahhhhhhhhh.. i got 2nd runner up...uhhhhhhhhhh, wat i heard from the other participant talkin.."ihhhh, main buyuk tue dia...mentang2 abg dia kenal tue pengadil.."...hey u all, saya teda main buyuk arr....sy bt baik2 suda tue tau...yg kalah tue ngaku jak lar..ndak paya ckp byk....tahun depan cuba lg...hahhhaahhahahahhahaha......
Now me at year of 2008, no more lack of confident, and always trust that everyone is ugly, beauty only on faces, but important is beauty in the brain...wat i noe is me is different form years before, my mouth no insurance, i talk wat i want to talk, i do wat i want to do...i luv to share wit certain people only, like my nephew and my fren in the office, wat color is my spender and bra, c john bilang.."chell cpat2 lar ko jalan, ndak paya lg sy tgk santut ko ari2..."hahahhahaha.. John boy, sharin is caring, mcm c mimie ckp.....back to topic.....i really want to thank you to my brother, i think now I should say my Late BROTHER CLARENCE, who pass away on the 12th June 2008, on 1246am in Queen Elizabeth, it is hurt when u are not around, without u, me still like old me, u teach me how to care not only myself but also this family, u have been suffer almost 1 years of cancer, i always remember the day where i take care of u at house and also kuching, hospital...i really i wanted to apologize when u are back to kk, i really wanted to say sorry because always saying have no time goin back at mum house, times really pass so fast, i still remember ur last breathing, and when u left us.......i really hope it is a dream...in fact it is not...u really left us, Rest In Peace Brother Clarence......

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